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  After the shower, I felt unusually drained. I hoped tonight would be low-key. I didn’t have to work the next day, but with the state I was in, I didn’t want to bring anybody home. The air felt tense and heavy; I couldn’t deal with some random bimbo’s questions just then.

  When I got to the bar, I looked around. Diane wasn’t there, but there was a cute little blonde working the tables. She was wearing jean shorts so high that they were creeping into her labia; I could see the round swell of each ass cheek. There was a white tank top knotted tightly beneath her breasts, and I could see her pink nipples through the thin cotton. My cock chafed and twitched in my pants, but I wasn’t grateful for the distraction. She gave me a big smile.

  “Carson, it’s been so long since I saw you,” she said sweetly, coming over to hug me. I felt her tits press into my chest and I had to pull away. “I’m home from college; you can see I’m all grown up now.” She smiled a gap-toothed smile at me and suddenly, I remembered her. She was a friend of Eddie’s older daughter. The last time I’d seen her, she’d been in high school with glasses and her hair in braids. I raked a hand through my hair and looked at her from an arm’s length. Her pink-glossed lips were curved into a sensuous smile.

  “I remember you,” I said gruffly. She giggled and jumped up and down, I caught myself staring at her tits bouncing. “How old are you now?”

  She grinned and bit her lower lip. “Eighteen!” she chirped.

  I clapped a hand to my forehead. “Chris,” I muttered. “I need a beer.”

  She laughed and walked away, carrying her tray propped up against the curve of her hips that was just starting to look womanly. Towards the back of the bar I saw Tommy and Josh. Josh was the spitting image of Tommy, only twenty years older and with a lot more scars and tattoos. Compared to him, Tommy looked like a freshfaced little kid.

  “Hey, man,” they greeted me, clapping me on the back. “What’s good? You took so long to get here, we were gonna drink all the beer!”

  I laughed shortly. “Close work,” I said, referencing our code for domestic issues. “I had to escort someone home.”

  Josh raised his eyebrows. “You’re on club time today,” he drawled. “You think about that?”

  I shook my head. “It took thirty minutes, tops,” I told him casually. “I’m here now. Trust me.”

  The little blonde waltzed over to our table with a pitcher of beer and a shot glass full of a murky amber liquid. She smiled at me again, and my cock twitched.

  “Hey, boys,” she said with a flirtatious smile. “I’m just bringin’ y’all a fresh pitcher. And I’m gonna give Carson here a shot, since he’s got some catching up to do.”

  Josh and Tommy snickered; I wondered if somehow they hadn’t asked her to do that before I even showed up. “Sure,” I said, reaching out and taking the glass, I held it up to the blonde, winked at her, and knocked it back. I saw a flash of desire and admiration on her face and as she walked away, I knew she was blushing.

  “She’s not old enough to be my sister,” Tommy grumbled. “You want first crack at her, Carson?”

  I laughed and threw my head back. “Maybe after about ten more of these,” I said, showing Tommy the empty glass. “I’m not much for jailbait.”

  The three of us caught up and before I knew it, I was feeling red-faced and sweaty. One of the guys put some old country on the jukebox and the blonde girl got up and danced on the bar. The men couldn’t take their eyes off of her. Her youth was like a magnet that drew them, regardless of marital status or whether they had a girlfriend at home.

  “She’s smoking,” Tommy said, whistling. “You gonna go for that tonight?”

  I looked at him. Normally, we wouldn’t be competing like this. But I’d felt like something was wrong, like some kind of trouble was brewing ever since that standoff with the Aztecs. I nodded. “Sure am,” I said, digging my hands deep in my pockets and walking over. Caroline’s face flashed through my mind. Damn her, I thought.

  The blonde hopped down from the bar and took a bow. When she walked over to me, I saw that her color was high and her face was flushed. “Hi,” she said in a twang. “Wanna dance?”

  I slipped my arm around her waist and pulled her close. “I don’t dance,” I grunted in her ear. “You feel like comin’ outside with me?”

  She giggled for a moment, and it occurred to me how young she really was. But as she pressed her tits up against me, I found myself not caring. “Sure,” she whispered. “Just let me go tell the boss.”

  I nodded. When she came back, I realized I didn’t even know what her name was. She looped her arm through mine and I guided her outside. Later, I realized it was almost like a parody of how I’d acted with Caroline in Tinder’s. The blonde turned her face to me and looked into my eyes.

  “Are you okay?” I asked her, leaning in to nuzzle her neck. “You look a little tense, baby.”

  She giggled nervously and wrapped her thin arms around my neck. “I’m fine,” she whispered. “I’m with you!”

  I slid my hands down her back and scooped her up, wrapping her legs around my waist. She squealed and kissed me enthusiastically. Her mouth tasted like bubble gum and vodka, and I had an almost instant hard-on as she ground her thinly-clad pussy against me. The blonde purred into my mouth and tangled her hands in my hair, pulling herself further up on my frame. She was acting like a little cat in heat, and while it was sexy, it was also a little thirsty in a way that suggested she was faking. I couldn’t tell if it was desire or eagerness to please that was driving her, and as I held her in place, she wriggled down my body, kissing and nipping at my neck with her sticky little mouth.

  “Slow down, darlin’,” I whispered in a strained voice. “We got more time than this.”

  The blonde was already scrambling to her feet and kneeling down in front of me. As she unzipped my jeans, she gave me a big grin. “I just wanna make you feel good,” she said sweetly, reaching in tentatively for my cock. I was hard, but the way she touched me made me feel like she’d never been around a real dick before.

  “You can stroke me harder,” I told in her a strained voice. She peered up at me and bit her lip, gently moving her hand along my shaft. It was tickling torture, and I groaned in agony. “Please,” I grunted. “Please touch me harder.”

  “I love hearing you beg,” she said, leaning in and licking her lips. I buried my hand in her tangle of blonde hair as she took the first couple inches of my cock into her mouth. Almost immediately, she began to choke and gag and I pulled away, afraid of her teeth. When we made eye contact, she was red and blushing. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “It’s fine,” I said, picking her up to her feet and cradling her in my arms. I dipped my head to kiss her, and she swooned in my arms. Suddenly, my mind was a thousand miles away, with that goddamned redheaded bartender. I bet she wouldn’t have choked on my cock. I bet she could have taken the whole thing in her mouth at once and deep-throated me until I came. I could feel my erection softening. I pushed the blonde away gently. When she tried to move back in closer, I took her by the shoulder and looked at her. “Listen, this isn’t a good time,” I told her curtly. “You better go on back inside now.”

  The blonde glared at me, hurt showing on her face. “Forget you,” she muttered. “Are you gay? Do you even like women?”

  I rolled my eyes. “You’re not exactly a woman, honey,” I told her. “I don’t like little girls.”

  I watched as tears came to her eyes and she backed away. “Fine! I didn’t want you anyway!”

  As she ran inside, I lit a cigarette and pulled on it hard. Caroline. Why couldn’t I get her name out of my head?

  There was a buzz and a loud thrumming behind me. I turned around to see one of the Aztecs pull into the lot. He kept his eyes on me as he hopped off his bike and walked towards mine. Just when I thought he was about to do something, he kicked it over. I watched as my motorcycle fell in the dirt. Rage swirled through me, and I walked over
and decked him, hard. The Aztec was grinning at me the whole time, even after my punch landed, but he crumpled to the ground in a puddle of blood and teeth.

  “Fuck you,” I spat. He kicked me, and I almost fell over. The time I spent staggering allowed him to get up and punch me in return. I managed to dodge the blow but he delivered a powerful roundhouse kick that sent me flying. In the distance, police sirens started to blare. The Aztec looked panicky, then gleeful when he realized I’d be caught at the scene of the crime. Glaring at him, I ran over to my bike, picked it up, and drove off.

  Fuck, I thought, as I sped through the dark night alone. What the fuck is going to happen next?

  Chapter Ten

  Caroline

  After Carson left, my heart was thudding in my chest so loudly that the whole room was pulsing. I lay in bed for hours, reliving the kiss, wanting it to happen again while simultaneously never wanting lay eyes on Carson’s face for the rest of my life. Something about him irritated me so much; I couldn’t articulate it, but it was like he wanted to make me uncomfortable.

  That was why it was so hard to resist the urge to spill everything. After he’d told me about how he thought he was onto me, fear and panic had stabbed through my belly. With his tattoos and his street cred, I honestly didn’t doubt it. But Carson had to know better than that; he had to know that I wouldn’t talk easily. Plus, whenever I thought about the pictures, I burned with shame. Carson couldn’t find out about those. Even though I was attracted to him, I didn’t want him thinking that I was some kind of slut.

  Out of boredom, I called Elizabeth. I had another assignment for Lucas later in the day; I knew that Carson wasn’t working so it might be safe to stop by. After our last encounter, I couldn’t go back when he was working. I was all too aware of that. I just hoped that the guard on duty wouldn’t feel like it was his job to inform Carson that I’d stopped by.

  Elizabeth didn’t answer when I called, but five seconds later, she was calling me back. I picked up on the first ring.

  “Hey,” I greeted her. “Are you busy today? Want to hang out?”

  Elizabeth laughed shortly. “Caroline, you know how busy I am with Amy,” she told me. “She’s just getting over a cold, and I have to go by the school for an interview later.”

  I frowned. “Are you getting a new job? Did something happen at the office?”

  Elizabeth laughed, this time it was more convincing. “Not exactly,” she said. “Amy has interviews at different pre-schools, and today’s the day I’m taking her.”

  I bit my tongue; pre-schools had interviews now? It made me want to roll my eyes. Instead, I changed the subject. “Well, if you’re free beforehand, how about if I come over? I haven’t seen Amy in a long time. I’ll even drop you guys off at the pre-school.”

  There was a pause. “Okay, maybe,” Elizabeth told me, and my heart sank. “I’m sorry, Caroline. I know I’ve been a shitty friend lately, but I don’t really know what to do about that. I’m up to my ears in chores. I have laundry for days, and Andrew’s parents are coming by tomorrow to visit with Amy.” Her voice turned sad. I knew that she hated even thinking about Amy’s dad, but at least her former in-laws were nice. “It’s just a lot going on,” she said with a sigh. “I’m sorry. “

  I narrowed my eyes. “What if I came over and helped you?” I asked. “I could come over and do laundry and help you clean. That way you can relax, and we can talk. Amy can take a nap or something. I’m sure the school interviews will tire her out.”

  Elizabeth laughed. “Caroline, that’d be awesome,” she gushed. “Do you mean it? Thank you so much!”

  I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “Of course I do,” I told her. “I’ll be over soon.”

  The drive to Elizabeth’s took no time at all. She lived in a much nicer neighborhood than I did. Her complex had trees around the buildings, and it even had a pool. I was jealous, but I never could have afforded to live there. Still, I knew that she barely made ends meet. I wondered how often Andrew was paying her child support now. Maybe, after the whole thing with Lucas was over, I could help her out a little bit.

  I knocked on the door, and Elizabeth yelled that it was open. Stepping inside was like visiting a domestic war zone. The carpet was covered in splatters of paint and toys, and Elizabeth was hunched over, carrying Amy under one arm and a messy can of acrylic paint in the other.

  “Aunt Caroline! Aunt Caroline!” Amy cried out. She wriggled free from her mother’s grip and crawled over to me excitedly. Amy looked up at me with big shining brown eyes. “Caroline!” she cried out, holding her arms up for me to pick her up. I laughed and reached down, grabbing her and holding her against my chest. She was strangely heavy for a four-year-old, but there was something soothing about her weight. It was almost calming, like hugging a pillow.

  Elizabeth looked up at me. She looked exhausted. Her hair was tangled around her face and there were distinct purple circles under her eyes. Her normally thin frame looked a little puffy, like she’d been subsisting on a diet of potato chips and soda. When I glanced around, I saw empty chip bags everywhere. Frowning, I turned to Amy.

  “Amy, it looks like your mom could use a nap,” I said cheerfully. Amy beat her little fists against my back—it was surprisingly painful. “She looks really tired,” I said. “Ouch! Stop that.”

  “No!” Amy yelled. Her cry pierced my ear, and I set her down gently on the ground. She started crawling around and tugging at the drying paint on the carpet. I felt my uterus shrink up as though it was wrapped; sometimes being around kids felt like the best birth control I could imagine. At least it managed to drive the thoughts of Carson out of my head.

  “Sorry,” Elizabeth said, wincing. “She’s at a tough age right now. I have no idea where she gets all of this energy!” Elizabeth corralled Amy like an expert rancher and carried her to her bedroom. I heard Amy’s high-pitched shrieks and Elizabeth’s calm, low voice. Finally, Elizabeth emerged and closed the door behind her. After a moment, Amy started sobbing loudly through the walls. Elizabeth looked at me and rolled her eyes.

  “This sucks,” I told her.

  She burst out laughing, then covered her mouth with a hand. “I know,” she admitted, looking down. “But what am I supposed to do?”

  I shrugged. “You’ve got your hands full for sure. Let me know how I can help.”

  Elizabeth looked around the apartment helplessly. Her face crumpled, and I thought she was going to burst into tears but managed to pull herself together. “There’s just too much,” she said finally. “Do you mind starting on the laundry? There’s a pile over there.”

  Wordlessly, I grabbed the plastic baskets full of dirty clothes and lugged them downstairs to the coin-operated washer and dryer. Once I was down there, I realized Elizabeth hadn’t given me any money. I was too embarrassed to say that I couldn’t spare any, so I dug through my pockets and came up with a measly $1.75. My stomach growled—the coins where what I was planning to use to buy my dinner for the day. But Elizabeth didn’t have to know that. Oh well, I thought as I tried to stay positive. At least I have an excuse for not eating McDonald’s again.

  When I brought the empty basket upstairs, Elizabeth was laying on the couch looking mournful. “What are you doing later? Can you take over my life and my daughter for me?”

  I shook my head and ruffled her hair. She winced. “Sorry, Liz,” I told her. “No can do.”

  Elizabeth picked herself up off the couch and gave me a curious look. “So what are you doing, anyway?”

  I bit my lip. Lying to her was much harder than lying to Carson. “Nothing,” I said. “Helping a friend with something.” I looked into her eyes. “Maybe moving soon.”

  Elizabeth opened her eyes wide. “Oh, Caroline,” she said in a crestfallen voice. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”

  I shook my head. “It’s fine,” I said, wanting to get off the subject. “It probably won’t happen. I think I’ll be able to make some money through a friend.”
/>   Elizabeth took my hand in hers; it struck me how rough and calloused her skin was. I imagined that she spent a lot of time trying to clean the shitty houses before trying to sell them. “I’m sorry,” she said again. “It’s a tough time for all of us, but we’ll get through somehow. Do you want me to pay you back for laundry?”

  I shook my head. “No need,” I said breezily. I stood up and brushed my hands off on my jeans. “I should get going, though,” I told her. “I need to meet someone soon.”

  Elizabeth nodded soberly. She got up from her perch and started digging around in the kitchen. When she emerged, she was carrying a plastic bag. “Here are some leftovers,” she said. “There’s roast chicken and potatoes and a can of peas, okay?”